ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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