make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
