Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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