so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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