do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
