one two three fourrrrnication!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
