Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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