Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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