Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
