Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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