I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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