She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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