Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
