She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
