If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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