I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
