Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
