He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
