just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
