By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
kristin has been a bad kristin
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
