I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
