it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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