i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
