A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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