i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How's work?
Spinning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
