the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
