none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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