Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
