I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's shark week go big or go home
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