Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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