I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
