I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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