Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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