I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
