The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
