I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
