I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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