she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
