Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
