Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
