apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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