I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
