You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
