We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
