do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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