Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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