We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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