Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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