hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's never too late to be topless.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
