I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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