your room smells of hookers.
And success
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize