1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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