awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
