Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
