What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
