i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
