Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
