Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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