Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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