I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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