we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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