Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
