I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
