i just had sex bonerless
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can you repeat that, but with context?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
