They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize